Thursday, February 28 2008 @ 01:27 PM EST
Contributed by: Wayne McCaul
BrikWarriors from space engage in a battle of wits and rockets with horrible aliens, incompetent locksmiths and a diabolical ship design that would make MC Escher green with envy.
[Note: The following account is somewhat in dispute. Event may have been altered for dramatic effect, sensationalism, and to fill in the blanks during a particularly bad night of drinking. This is what happens when you hire people trained at FOX.]
On Saturday, February 23, 2008, in what is rapidly becoming a staple of BrikWarring, yet another trip into the Final Frontier pits radically different groups romping around another, abandoned spaceship that happens to also be infested with Face-Eating Aliens (who, in this case, were woefully pathetic).
Two teams emerged from the void: Joe, DanK and DaveE comprised Team Dysfunction, a hodge-podge group of BionicalAlien Joes, an explosive, chain-gang and Spacey-Pirates. Elroy, Shaun and Alfred were assigned Team Lockdown for their amazing, lightning skill at locking just about every door they encountered ("Oh, you mean the big, red button with Emergency Lock on it *doesn't* open the door?").
In this game, we opted for the Schrodinger's Cat method of module layout. When new doors actually were opened (something Team Lockdown had massive trouble with) a die roll indicated which module was placed. This resulted in a fantastically disorienting spacecraft that was clearly abandoned when nobody could find the bridge or the bathroom when applying a logical, three-dimensional, space-time frame of reference.
Alien attacks were not as horrifying as they should have been. Despite the first encounter with Alfred's hero--wherein a *snap-hiss* of the lightsaber cut down the alien quickly, it also splattered enough acid-blood to dissolve said hero in a screaming, bloody mess--subsequent alien attacks were fended off with Joe's tank-armor, a shovel and some bad breath. Aliens were horribly ineffective and reduced to all the on-screen terror of a potted chrysanthemum.
By far, the more interesting characters were DanK's chain-gang. Besides being linked together with physical chains, they were also bound by a small explosive charge surgically planted in their heads. The charge would detonate if any one of them was too far away from any other one. This proved, as expected, hilariously disastrous late in the game when a surprise alien attack managed to successfully maul the lead chain-ganger. The alien would have survived that explosion, however, with the loss of the radio-explosive, the other chain-gangers began to explode like a string of Christmas lights going out. The successive blasts vaporized *everything*, even taking out some of Team Lockdown, a module away (when they finally opened a locked door using a strange and wonderfully bizarre technology known as A Key).
Events may actually have transpired in the opposite way.